Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
