I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
