everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
