i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
