your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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