tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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