love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
