Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
