Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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