I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
