The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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