Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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