ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
