I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
