I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
