we have officially lost it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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