If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
