R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
