his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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