We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
