Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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