addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
