i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
