I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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