Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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