thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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