She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
