Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my shit smells like andre
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
