i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
