In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
