i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
