I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
