I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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