video games are the ultimate cock blocker
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
