umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
