wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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