Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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