If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
