Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
