he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
soo... how was my night?
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