How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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