Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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