I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
