you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
