i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
