i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
