He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Still dying that you shit outside
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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