Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
