The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
