You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I AM VODKA MAN
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
