I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
