Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
